John Lithgow
1) Bark, George
Author
Language
English
Description
George likes to please his mother, but when she tells him to bark he says "meow" and "quack-quack" and "oink" and "moo" - until she takes him to the vet, who finally figures out what's going on with George. Or does he? Children will roar with laughter at this funny, silly story, told by the master of foolishness and farce.
Author
Language
English
Description
When Dr. Albright announces she is going to Borneo for a year, Dick decides to ask her to marry him. Due to his anxiety, Dick experiences his first nightmare, leading the other aliens to believe that Dick's brain is breaking down, creating stress for Sally and Tommy.
Author
Language
English
Description
Dick and Mary are invited to a reception for a new professor, and Mary asks Dick to try not to act so weird. Mary says that Dick and his family are the "Addams Family." Dick asks August if he seems weird to her, and when she answers in the affirmative, he goes ballistic. Dick tells the other aliens that it's obvious that they're not fitting in. From now on, they must be statistically average.
Author
Language
English
Description
When Dick smashes the Rambler into a tree, Mary assumes that he's insured, but he isn't. He pretends he has the same agent as Mary and when the agent drops by, Dick is annoyed to discover that it's necessary to buy the insurance before the accident. But when Dick rents a car, he falls in love with it.
Author
Language
English
Description
Mary's doing a promotional video for the university directed by Aubrey Pitman, one of Dick's students, and Dick's upset that he wasn't asked to participate. When the guy she's been dating doesn't show up as promised, Nina accepts Harry's offer to drive her to the dentist to have her wisdom teeth extracted.
Author
Language
English
Description
Harry finds an old wheelchair in Mrs. Dubcek's garage, and, while playing with it, Dick rolls down a flight of stairs and breaks his foot. Meanwhile, Harry's thrilled that Mrs. Dubcek's daughter Vicki is back but horrified when she tells him she's practicing celibacy.
Author
Language
English
Description
Sally is still High Commander, Dick has been made Security Officer and Vicki gives birth to her baby. The Solomons rejoice when the baby appears to be human. Trouble erupts, however, when Vicki phones a tabloid reporter to sell him the story of little Eric Travis's alien conception.
Author
Language
English
Description
Dick and Jennifer are madly in love and quite pleased with themselves. A giggly Dick tells Don how happy he is, but Don says he'd better tell Mary right away because the whole thing could blow up in his face. Jennifer speaks to Dick mostly in rhyme, which he finds utterly charming. When Dick tells Mary that they both should start seeing other people, she thinks it's ludicrous.
Author
Language
English
Description
When Nina leaves Dick's grade reports on the computer and he has no idea how to retrieve them, it's clear that he's a physics professor who is computer illiterate. Dick can't accept that he, a superior being, can't operate a computer. He returns his old computer to the electronics store and insists that it's broken.
Author
Language
English
Description
The aliens are introduced to the concept of paying income tax. Dick has been warned that it's a complicated process, but the aliens find the tax forms silly and boring as they make their first attempt to file a return. It isn't long, however, before they're as dazed and confused as any human taxpayer.
Author
Language
English
Description
When Dick attempts to put the magic back into his relationship, he learns it was never missing - their rut is really comfort. Meanwhile, Sally and Harry switch jobs. Sally discovers Harry's job is more difficult than it appears, while Harry finds himself enjoying the housework and having a purpose. Tommy finds, to his delight, that August is not perfect.